Estonia 1998: And we’re off, the semester begins

From the archives: It turns out that I was blogging long before anyone had ever heard the term “blog.” Twenty years ago I was an exchange student in Estonia. While studying at the University of Tartu, I created an online travelogue to keep my family and friends apprised of my experiences. Both my life and the nation of Estonia have changed a lot the two decades since. This reprise is providing me with a glimpse at who I was back then and the excuse to learn more about more recent developments in my temporary home, even if some of the opinions that I expressed back then may make me a little bit uncomfortable today. It is interesting to see how people grow and change.

9-20 February 1998

The spring semester here at the University of Tartu has finally begun. I am enjoying my courses and am looking forward to my first real opportunity to study in a foreign language as opposed to just studying a foreign language. Like most times here, there were definitely peaks and valleys emotionally, but this past week I kind of bottomed out. There wasn’t really one thing that drove me to it, it was just sort of a combination of all the factors and feelings that come from being half a world away from home. The strangest part about all of it, was the fact that the very things that made is suddenly so difficult, were the very same things that had made it so wonderful all along. The new culture, language, people, history and so on… 

After a wonderful telephone call home and the realization that this was just temporary and that in fact I am having a wonderful time truly living a dream brought me back into shape. I’m not ashamed of the emotional crashes, their just part and parcel to the whole situation. The high points wouldn’t be near as glorious if we didn’t have the valleys to compare them to. What a wonderful experience this is.

9 February 1998
Monday

What an incredible day. The new semester started today and I had the most fulfilling, most exhausting and simply the most active time that I have had in a long while. I am feeling tired, content and yet incredibly stupid (see Spanish below) all at the same time. It is a unique mix and one that could only come from studying abroad.

This morning I went to help with the new international student orientation and talk about life here in Estonia. It went fairly well and it gave me a chance to meet all of the new English speaking (i.e. non-Finnish speaking) students. They are a great group and contain a new student from Grenada. Spanish usage has returned… 

After the orientation I went to my first class completely in Estonian. It was an American politics and society course taught by an American-Estonian. It was great warm up because his Estonian was relatively slow and very precise. I think that I will enjoy that course and might even manage to survive it alright in the language of instruction, although it definitely helps to know that the teacher is a native speaker of my own language. 

I went to a reception for the new students tonight at Vana Kohvik. It was a good time. The band was nice and I enjoyed getting to meet everyone in a more informal setting. The most important event of the night was getting to talk to two Spaniards here in Tartu. It is the first time that I have really attempted to use Spanish since last year when I was here in Tartu. The time away from the language really showed. I could understand everything that they said but to say anything on my own was simply impossible. So much time only functioning in Estonian has robbed me of my Spanish. It’s actually all still there, one never truly forgets a language, but I just have unbury it from the deep recesses of my mind and try to somehow revive my knowledge of the most important language I will ever learn, the second language of my own country.

10 February 1998
Tuesday

I am so confused right now. Just when I thought that I had my whole schedule figured out for the semester I find out that I really have nothing to do and need to find ways to pack my schedule as full as I possibly can. There are not a lot of other things going on, so spending a lot of time in class is not going to be a real problem. I just have to get used to the way that things work around here.

Today was a very good day classwise. I took an introduction to Estonian linguistics today. It was really good because the professor spoke very clearly and distinctly because he knew that he was speaking to a crowd with Estonian as a second language. I think that I shouldn’t use this as a guideline though. I know that the “real” professors are not going to be quite so easy to deal with. I guess I’m just going to have to work my way up slowly.

I also had a good Estonian language class. Tiina’s group is much smaller this semester so I think that we are going to have get used to some readjustment in the ranks so how exactly everything will turn out I just do not know yet. This is looking to be a good semester. I just have to work at it a little harder than I thought I would. I sometimes really miss the American system, bureaucratic as it is, at least it is my bureaucracy and I know the shortcuts around it. Here the same amount of bureaucracy exists but because I was not raised with it I do not know the shortcuts. It can be really frustrating sometimes.

11 February 1998
Wednesday

A good but busy day. I survived some more courses in Estonian and had an absolutely wonderful time at Illegaard in the evening. Definitely back into the swing of things. 

16 February 1998
Monday

An emotionally charged day. I went from the depths of despair this morning to going to bed with a smile on my face because of a great telephone conversation with mom. It’s been so long since I’ve talked to everyone at home. I am so happy to be doing what I am doing, but at the same time there are definite consequences for everything. In my case being so far from home and dealing with the kind of homesickness that I have been feeling is all part and parcel to the whole package. I am glad that I did this, but I will be even happier to be going home.

19 February 1998
Thursday

What an incredible day. I saw the sun and warm weather for the first time in several months. After a long, long winter of bone chilling cold, clouds, snow and constant drizzle since January, the weather broke with a beautiful blue sky and an almost blistering 8°C. Absolutely perfect. I have missed this kind of weather for a long time. I love winter, but this year was just a little too long. It was starting to have too much effect on my moods and personality. All is good once again.

In the afternoon I went to make preparations for getting my residence permit. In the photo studio where I got some passport pictures taken, the photographer asked me the standard introductory questions. After hearing that I am was an American with no “genetic” ties to Estonia he became very excited. As I was leaving and he was giving the photos to me, he actually patted me on the back saying, “good boy, thank you for coming to study in Estonia.”

And to think just a couple of days I was actually having second thoughts about being here…

In the evening I went to a British film course with a Scottish professor living in Estonia. We started Ryan’s Daughter, a film about life during the Irish fight for independence. Amazing, a very similar history and incredibly identical timing to Estonia’s own fight for independence. The two countries have much more in common than just heavy drinking.

20 February 1998
Friday

I must admit that I did not get a lot done today. I spent most of the day watching the Olympics and had a great time. I watched Finland get severely trounced by Russia and wrote to Sole and Marina to say hello and give my sympathy. In the evening I went to see the Kalevipoeg ballet at the Vanemuine Theatre. It was nice, but unfortunately I don’t know anything about the original story and most of the plot was lost on me. I did have a good time anyway. We finished the night at Rogier’s place. He had a birthday party, turning 27 today. It was a nice time and I got to meet a lot of nice people. It’s good to get out of the house sometimes. A very good day.