Expect the Unexpected
Prayer Journal for March 7, 2019
“Life with God is filled with promises and expectations. However, God’s promises are not always fulfilled when or how we expect. We can be so focused on an expected result of a promise that we lose sight of the source of the promise.”
—Leaning In, Letting Go by Rev. Dr. Nicole Massie Martin
Promise keeping God,
It seems that I am always so slow to let go of my expectations. Every day I wake up with a sense of how the world is supposed to work, yet it always seems to end up differently than I had expected. One of the things that I have learned going through my journals from twenty years ago is the fact that the world has never worked the way that I would expect. There are so many surprises that you have thrown at me, some of which felt awful at the time, but in the end you have been with me every step of the way guiding me and empowering me to do things better than I could have come up with on my own.
As I settle back into my post-deployment life, I know that there are going to be aspects of this reintegration that will not go the way that I had hoped. There will be things that feel like they are getting harder instead of easier. It will feel like all of the stuff that was backlogged over the past few months will suddenly be completely my responsibility. There will never be enough resources and it will feel like the world is out to get me. Sometimes there will actually be situations that do overwhelm me, but all in all, this is going to be a challenge that will lead to freedom. When I follow your call I know that there will be amazing things accomplished.
Help me to surrender my sense of what the world should look like. Help me let go of the sense of the kind of life I am supposed to be living. Remind me of the fact that I am called into relationship with you, and that relationship is not dependent on a particular status on my part. Your goodness and compassion is going to be with me no matter what specifically I am doing on a day to day basis. You are good, and that is not going to change. Help me to focus on that goodness, and to rely on that goodness, even it seems like you are not there. Remind me that is the very time that I need to cling to you all the more tightly.
Amen.
Leaning In, Letting Go: A Lenten Devotional
For several years the Disciples of First Christian Church (DOC) in Dexter, Missouri have used Advent and Lenten devotionals from Chalice Press to guide our personal prayer in preparation for the Christmas and Easter holidays. This year’s Lenten devotional, Leaning In, Letting Go, was written by Rev. Dr. Nicole Massie Martin, the founder of Soulfire Ministries and professor at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. My personal discipline during this season will be to daily respond to her questions in my prayer journal. From time to time during the season I will sharing some of my reflections here on this page.
