1997: My Last Few English Days

From the archives: It turns out that I was blogging long before anyone had ever heard the term “blog.” Twenty years ago I was an exchange student in Estonia. While studying at the University of Tartu, I created an online travelogue to keep my family and friends apprised of my experiences. Both my life and the nation of Estonia have changed a lot the two decades since. This reprise is providing me with a glimpse at who I was back then and the excuse to learn more about more recent developments in my temporary home.

Previous entry: I Begin to Speak

September 22-30, 1997

This week’s entry is actually a week plus some. I decided that since these are my last English language journal entries I should go ahead and put them all on the same page. Beginning with the first of October I have begun keeping my journal in Estonian language. I can say most everything I want, but there are still a few things that I have to switch to English to express correctly. Anyway, this was a very good week. I was able to go to Otepää and see the Estonian Olympic Training Center and have been able to see a lot of old friends, some of whom I have not seen in over a year. Catching up is always fun.

School stuff is coming along well, too. My classes are quite good and it seems like I am learning so much every day. I think that I might actually stand a chance of walking out of here at the end of the year with some sort of actual grasp on this language. Sometimes it feels absolutely impossible, but when I start to think that way, all I have to do is to look at how far I have already come… I am so glad I am here.

22 September 1997
Monday

I had a great Estonian class today and a good evening with my host family. We watched X-Files and Kairit and I ended up talking until midnight. I love getting to know them better and every day am starting to feel more like a part of the family.

23 September 1997
Tuesday

I just finished reading a most spectacular book, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, by Ken Kesey. The story that it details, the struggle for ascendancy between freedom and repression is incredible. It is masterfully written and it carries implications far beyond the mental hospital scenario it portrays.

Shocking is too weak a word to describe what I just read. The book simply knocks the wind out of you. I can see so many similarities between McMurphy’s fight for freedom and the struggle of Estonia and so many other nations that have suffered under repressions yoke. The message is simple, life without freedom is not life. It is not worth living. An unpopular idea in today’s over regulated, paranoid, obsessed world, but one that is as true now as it ever has been. It is a concept that gave birth to my ow country two centuries ago and it is a philosophy by which all people should strive to live their lives. Quite simply, this book is the most blatant manifesto for freedom that I have ever had the pleasure to read. A stunning experience.

On a slightly less awe inspiring plane, my interview with the SõnumiLeht was published today. It was a good article and it was quite nice to see myself in print. I love this country. It is small enough to make a big splash with quite a little stone.

Today Ene, my host mother, had her birthday. There were some family and friends over for the evening. It was a lot of fun. A very good day.

24 September 1997
Wednesday

Today in the morning I had an exam in Estonian grammar class. It wasn’t too bad. I am learning a little more every day. I really like this wonderful life that I am living here. My conversation teacher is sick so I had a free afternoon and am free again tomorrow. Probably I will go to Otepää with two or three friends and I think that we will have a lot of fun.

In the evening I watched Death and the Maiden with Sigourney Weaver on Estonian television. It was a good film. It was set in South America in a supposedly anonymous country, shortly after “the fall of the dictator”. It was very interesting and much different than the average film. I liked it a lot.

I think one thing I really enjoyed about it was it’s gutsiness. It follows the story of one former prisoner who is able to turn the tables on her former captor. It was a thinly disguised portrayal of Argentina and the Cold War era military regime. It was a movie of the type rarely made in America anymore, in fact, except for Sigourney Weaver, this was an almost entirely French operation.

Why can’t Hollywood make touching, controversial, edgy movies like this anymore? The almighty dollar is the simple reason. They are in it for the money and mass marketing is what they need. This was simply not it. I guess, actually, it is not that such movies cannot be made in Hollywood, it is just that all of the other stuff that comes out overshadows it so much. Competing against such easily hype-able creations as Batman, Speed, Con Air and so on, the literature of the screen world easily slips through the cracks. A shame, really.

25 September 1997
Thursday

Another very good Thursday. I went with Nuri, Adrian and Kristina to Otepää for the afternoon. It was a good trip. I most especially enjoyed the ski jumping at the Olympic Training Center. You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. Of course, on the way back we got lost.

This evening we had an international party in the cafe at Narva 27 dormitories. It was pretty good and I really enjoyed getting to see a lot of people whom I had not seen for quite a long time.

26 September 1997
Friday

I was too tired today from the party last night. I slept most of the day. I watched the movie American Graffiti with Kairit and Bekka at his place. Kairit said that she didn’t care for the film very much, rather boring. I can see her point, but to me it was a fairly good reflection of a particular time and culture, an era which was unprecedented in history and the likes of which will probably never come again. A good time piece, much like Dazed and Confused attempts to be for the 1970’s generation. I only wonder what legacy my own generation will put forth to history. I only pray that it is a good one and that we are remembered for the right reasons.

27 September 1997
Saturday

A very good day that can be divided into several parts. I started with a Kuldmets sauna evening. It was, of course, nice and relaxing. The best part of it was making contact with Kristel, a penpal in Tallinn whom I have been writing to for almost a year. We are going to me for the first time on Wednesday.

After sauna I went to a Finnish housewarming party. I got to meet a couple of new people and had a very in depth chat with Silke and Herle, a couple of German exchange students. After the party was called short by a visit from the police (no fooling!!) I went with them to Illegaard for a couple more drinks.

On the way home I stopped by Krooks to see if Kairit was there. Instead, I met a crowd of Finns and others whom I had not seen since last year. It is so much fun seeing old friends once again and catching up from where we once left off. I love this life.

28 September 1997
Sunday

I went with Silke and Herle to go see Romeo and Juliet at Illusioon. It was a new, modernized version of the play set in current day Verona Beach. I like the concept of a current Romeo and Juliet but was not overly impressed with its execution. The music and special effects all often trampled the subtle beauty inherent in this magnificent production. I am glad that someone tried to bring Shakespeare into the nineties, I just wish that it had been done a little more masterfully.

29 September 1997
Monday

Tonight on X-Files was an episode set in Iowa at “Lake Okobogee”. I was so excited. Unfortunately, it turned out that “Lake Okobogee” was not simply an Estonian spelling of Lake Okoboji, it was set in a national park that doesn’t exist and the closest the camera crew ever got to Iowa was writing “Sioux City” on a cardboard road sign. The thick, deep pine forests set in steep rocky mountainsides was the first give away, seeing ferns in the woods put the issue to rest. Alas, it was Iowa in name only. Maybe next time.

30 September 1997
Tuesday

I am so excited about tomorrow. I going to see the Baltic Methodist Seminary in Tallinn, have lunch with Tricia, an American who studied with me in Tartu and is now running Tallinn In Your Pocket, a new English language tourist magazine, and will meet (finally) Kristel. It promises to be a great day. To make it even better, Diemo is going with me to see the school. With his car we do not need to take the bus, a perfect way to save a little money.

Next entry: My First Week in Estonian