Six months where everything changed

Writing at the wrong time

In February I began what I hoped to be a Lenten discipline of reflecting on Rabbi Harold Kushner’s book, Overcoming Life’s Disappointments It was part of a writing group hosted by Rev. Dr. Eileen Campbell-Reed. Although I started with the best of intentions and produced a few posts along the way, the truth is that I made it less than a month into the journey before my public writing tapered off and then disappeared entirely.

In retrospect, it turns out that I chose exactly the wrong time to begin a project like this. Behind the scenes everything in our life was changing, seemingly all at once. My wife and I came to Columbia, Missouri, so that she could spend a sabbatical year doing research at the Kinder Center for Constitutional Democracy. The plan was that at the end of the 2023-2024 school year we would return to Southeast Missouri State University and I would begin a counseling internship somewhere in the Cape Girardeau area.

That plan changed this spring when the University of Missouri suddenly offered her a permanent teaching position. She did not apply for this position, but impressed them so much during her sabbatical year that they sought her out and made her an offer she could not refuse. Needless to say, I am incredibly proud of her and grateful for they have placed in her. However, it was precisely at that moment that life became extremely complicated.

Starting from scratch

None of our previous plans remained intact. Instantly, we found ourselves starting from scratch. We began a house search in one of the tightest real estate markets in Missouri and had to put our old place on the market. We put offers in on several possible new homes, only to get outbid multiple times. Eventually we found a place we liked and began the negotiation process. There were many complications along the way, but ultimately we closed on our new home in Columbia just a few days before the house in Sikeston sold. It was a chaotic process, but in the end it was almost perfect timing and gave us just enough time to get everything moved out before the new owners moved in.

While all that was going on, it was time for me to start preparing for my counseling practicum placement. Although I already had a site lined up in Cape Girardeau, our relocation meant that I had to begin the search over once more. I contacted several organizations throughout central Missouri and began the interview process. Eventually I was offered a position at a practice in the area that specializes in precisely the kind of marriage and family counseling I am most interested in pursuing professionally.

Once the home-buying process and practicum search were taken care of, it was time actually move in. In our case the process involved three separate moves. Lily’s mom had been house sitting for us in Sikeston for the past year, so first we had to move her back to her house. Then we moved our Sikeston belongings to Cape Girardeau. Finally, when all of that was done we had to schlep everything else across town from the rented Columbia duplex to our permanent home. To make matters even more complicated, we threw in a bit of remodeling just for funsies.

To make it even more interesting, we were both keeping up with our studies and research all along the way. Needless to say, the last several months have been some of the most complicated either of us can remember. Although I would like to say I was disciplined enough to keep up with my website and the Rabbi Kushner writing project, the truth of the matter is that there was simply not enough mental bandwidth and something had to give.

Life settles down

Despite all the chaos along the way, the fact of the matter is that Lily and I could not be happier with the way things have turned out. Not only have we made some great friendships here in Columbia, we have landed in a perfect part of town for the kind of lifestyle we want to live. We both have jobs that reflect our values. Most importantly, for the first time in our married life we both live and work in the same town. For the past two decades one or both of us have had to commute across county lines to go to work. She is able to walk to work and we are able to meet up for lunch anytime we want.

Now that things have slowed down somewhat, I hope to get back into the writing habit, but I am willing to bet my reflections on Overcoming Life’s Disappointments are going to sound much different than they did just a few months ago. Huge thanks to those who checked in on us over the last few months and to everyone who kept us in your prayers. I am grateful for each and everyone of you and hope that you manage to find the same kind of peace in your life that Lily and I have recently found in ours.