Waiting for the Lord is hard

Patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains

Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. 

-James 5:7 (NIV)

This past week was one of the most challenging weeks in ministry that I have had in a long time. In addition to losing two members of the church to the coronavirus we also said goodbye to another individual who had been on hospice. In the middle that wave of grief I was very grateful for what Marchaé Grair wrote for Tuesday’s UCC Still Speaking devotional.

She used James 5:7 to reflect on the power of patience. These were words that I needed to hear this week. This virus and the chaos that it has unleashed on our congregation, our community, and our world is simply exhausted. There are so many people who are simply overwhelmed by the seemingly intractable nature of the disease. Empathy is easy for me because I feel it too.

Our emotions are real. Our frustration is real. Our grief is real. It is terrible and the fact of the matter is that I want it to stop. People I know and love are hurting and grieving. This is not fair and it is not right. I want it to stop now.

Unfortunately, as the events of the last few weeks have so aptly demonstrated, the virus simply does not care about the shortness of my emotional endurance. This is why the call for patience is so critical. The truth of the matter is that I am not in charge of this process. None of us are.

God to Job, “You can’t handle the truth”

The words of Job and James overlapped in my head as I found myself receiving no satisfying from answer from God about why any of this is going on. In Job 40-41 God seems to tell Job, “I’m God and you’re not. Some things you are simply not capable of understanding.”

For me, this is where a bit of liberation in this moment can be found. It is not up to me to try and understand everything that is going on around me. It is not up to me to try and make sense of the loss and grief that those I love are experiencing. Quite simply, exhausting myself trying to explain that which cannot be understood is has the potential to be demoralizing and soul destroying.

Instead, I am invited to find hope in something other than my limited human capacity for reason. The promise of the gospel is that none of us are alone in our suffering. Jesus is God’s way of showing total solidarity with human beings. By entering into human flesh Christ demonstrated that nothing is beyond the love of God. His death showed just how far he was willing to go to overcome our brokenness.

“See how the farmer waits.”

The promise of the resurrection is that our current reality is not the end of the story. This week I felt very much like the farmer in James 5:7, staring at bare dirt wondering if anything positive is ever going to emerge.

Marchaé Grair helped remind me that I am not alone in that experience. Believers throughout time have felt the same sensation. She invited me to give my emotions, my worries, and my impatience to God in prayer.

The process of God’s kingdom coming into its fullness is not up to any of us. Divine timetables are not something we have access to. Instead, we are called to be faithful, to seek Christ’s will for our lives, and to be patient with a world that works in ways that we simply cannot understand.

Dear God, give me patience, and give it to me now

Dear God,

In a world that doesn’t stop moving, help me find peace in showing patience.

Learning to find peace by showing patience is hard to do. There is so much that I simply want to happen now that I cannot figure out how to wait for you. I know your Holy spirit is at work in the world, but I would like things to happen on my timetable, not yours. Forgive me, God, for wanting the world to happen at my speed. Forgive me for not wanting to let you be in charge.

It is hard letting you be in charge of my life. It is critical, however, for me to know that you have the reins of the current situation. You are in charge and I must relearn how to simply let you be God. Help me to be willing to submit to your will. Cause me to seek your guidance in everything that I do.

Send your peace to everyone affected by this virus and give us the patience that we need to be able to walk through this difficult time.

Amen.